Written by Dontay Williams, Published in UpJourney
He struggles with committing to a relationship
An emotionally unavailable man will often struggle with committing to a relationship, which can make you question where the relationship is going.
The person in question will often value independence over the relationship and try to spend a reasonable amount of time away from the other person.
The fear of having to express his emotions to a partner or in social settings can promote isolating behavior.
A few examples of this would be saying things such as:
- “I don’t believe in marriage.”
- “I prefer to keep things casual.”
He never brings up how he feels
Does this person struggle to share their feelings or make a deeper emotional connection with you? What I mean is that if they never bring up how they feel and comment about personal boundaries, they are most likely emotionally unavailable.
Ok, here is what I have learned, personally and professionally—the ability of a man to be emotionally present depends on his comfort in communicating.
So there was a time in my marriage when my wife and I struggled to communicate. Being both strong-willed individuals, you can imagine the war that raged.
I learned from this experience that I needed first to understand my emotions and formulate how best to communicate them to my wife.
Now my wife is a much faster processor than I, so she can do all those things in a matter of seconds. We learned from this experience to honor each other’s way of communicating, and sometimes when we forget, we apologize.
He is inconsistent
Men who struggle with being emotionally unavailable often do the opposite of what they say they are going to do, whether switching up plans last minute or even canceling altogether without much explanation.
This can be highly frustrating for the other person in the relationship and builds on the emotionally unavailable person’s need for freedom from their significant other.
You may be asking, well, why is this the case? One thought is that the individual may choose to avoid situations where emotional expression is expected.
The person may have an experience or issue and is afraid to discuss this with anyone for fear of appearing vulnerable or weak. They instead cut off communication as a form of protection.
Being in a community with an emotionally unavailable individual requires patience, insight, and self-awareness. I hope that the emotionally unavailable male will recognize he is worthy of love and is able to grow.
Mental Health on Purpose Inc.
